department
underwater bw

(Underwater Basket Weaving)
Jan 2015

Taussig is bat-sh*t crazy, but it is not hard to get an A. He did indigenous dances, described in detail what it's like to trip on acid in the Amazon, and spoke at length that he believed our classroom was haunted (we consequently moved classrooms multiple times). I had Fernando as my TA, and the grading was relatively generous if you were decent at talking out of your a**. A few unbelievably pretentious hipsters ran the course and were thoroughly beloved by Taussig, almost to an inappropriate level. Overall, a hilarious lesson when a famous drug-addled anthropologist gets tenure at Columbia.

Oct 2014

Ted Mosby is awesome... gets a little distracted though. I am currently a freshman but my sophomore friends told me he was late on the first day of class cause he was at the wrong class room. Lol. Pretty great guy though, if you are into dorky architecture humor, of course.

Apr 2014

Known for his passion for fresh produce and sheepish locks, Chapman enjoys cosmetology and reminding the city's youth that Tupac and Biggie are far better than any of today's rappers. Once, he saved 78 puppies from a mill fire and single handedly nursed them all back to health. Chapman knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop. It is said that Prezbo consults Chapman for his opinion on affirmative action litigation and Brian Greene was inspired to study physics while gazing into Chapman's soulful eyes. Kim Jong Un cited his Machiavelli essay in CC for leadership ideas. One glimpse of his picture on Facebook inspired E.L. James to write 50 Shades of Gray. Chapman not only has his cake but eats it too. In his personal time, Jake enjoys listening to the music of Willow Smith, and counting his chickens well before they hatch. He read "Infinite Jest" cover to cover but never talks about it. His vibraphone playing is more alluring than the sirens' song. Chapman's traveling salesman algorithm runs in O(1/n). In two words: Chapman is a bro. Period. This dude is awesome, and the world is his classroom. Those that know him, love him, and those that don't know him also love him.

Nov 2013

First off, I have to admit that Professor Reverend Jacob Carlos Hoyle PhD MBA MD Esquire's credentials are impressive. He has clearly worked hard to attain them and I understand he has a great deal of experience and expertise in the real world in the telephonic solicitation field, something of which few professors at Columbia, or indeed anywhere, can boast. Nevertheless, I have to say: DO NOT TAKE THIS CLASS! He is, in his own words, the "hardest of motherfuckers" and you are "sure to fail." His lecture style was unorthodox to say the least, full of strange hmming and snickering noises, and he was highly argumentative which prevented any real discussion from taking place. His grading system is also wildly unhelpful, bordering on random; he will reward and remove points seemingly at will, often giving two students with the same answer completely different grades. He also would fail students completely for nonspecificity; homeworks had to be presented with a disclaimer explaining that they were homework assignments in response to questions (which we had to list) which he had given in his class (which we had to specify) by him (who we had to name) written in English (which we had to describe linguistically) on paper (whose history we had to give). When I tried to reach him at his pre-appointed office hours to discuss these grading issues, he was not there; in fact the door was locked and it seemed that the whole room had been abandoned for many years, as the inside (as viewed through the window) was a complete mess and ravaged by mice. I am also doubtful of many of his claims; he claimed for instance he had much Spanish heritage (hence his middle name) but he appeared to be about as Jewish as Woody Allen. He claimed also he was close personal friends with a certain Korean dictator (who he refused to name or even specify which Korea he was from)--again quite doubtful, although he did indeed speak a little Korean. In fact the only plus side to his class was the Burrito Day which we celebrated in honor of said Korean dictator midway through the year.

Nov 2013

Don't take this class, it's a scam! Professor Oak is using his students only to complete his precious Pokedex, the work of his whole life. Moreover, he will tell you that you have to find 151 pokemon, even if apparently some of them cannot be found, but every fucking time you go back to him, he will tell you that there are hundred more things to catch... He keeps pushing the students to find more and more pokemons, even if I was perfectly fine with my Ratata... I had to put him in a shelter in order to make room for stronger pokemons... The man have a really unhealthy addiction to pokemon And if the pokedex it's the work of his life, why the fuck is it empty???