Jake Chapman

Apr 2014

Known for his passion for fresh produce and sheepish locks, Chapman enjoys cosmetology and reminding the city's youth that Tupac and Biggie are far better than any of today's rappers. Once, he saved 78 puppies from a mill fire and single handedly nursed them all back to health. Chapman knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop. It is said that Prezbo consults Chapman for his opinion on affirmative action litigation and Brian Greene was inspired to study physics while gazing into Chapman's soulful eyes. Kim Jong Un cited his Machiavelli essay in CC for leadership ideas. One glimpse of his picture on Facebook inspired E.L. James to write 50 Shades of Gray. Chapman not only has his cake but eats it too. In his personal time, Jake enjoys listening to the music of Willow Smith, and counting his chickens well before they hatch. He read "Infinite Jest" cover to cover but never talks about it. His vibraphone playing is more alluring than the sirens' song. Chapman's traveling salesman algorithm runs in O(1/n). In two words: Chapman is a bro. Period. This dude is awesome, and the world is his classroom. Those that know him, love him, and those that don't know him also love him.